WHY Kids Need Both?

Our mission is to provide education and support to families facing child custody conflict.

Currently, despite the US Census Bureau reporting a decline in marriage and divorce rates from 2008 to present, nearly half of all marriages still end in divorce, many of which involve children. This often leads to intense legal battles between former partners with children, putting the children in a difficult position where they might feel compelled to take sides.

If no action is taken to address this issue or if the separation process is prolonged, the future consequences are predictable. The children may grow up feeling resentful for missing out on a harmonious childhood, and at worst, their relationships with one or both parents could be severely damaged. Such a tumultuous and disruptive experience might even lead to destructive patterns in their future relationships with partners and their own children.

Recognizing the potential harm caused by this situation, Kids Need Both (KNB) takes a leading role in promoting awareness of Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) in the legal system, parent education curriculum, and schools. The organization firmly believes that children require both parents and that both parents have the potential to perpetrate PAS or seek peaceful resolutions.

KNB strives to change the approach to highly volatile custody battles, providing a model that emphasizes harmony and cooperation rather than destructive conflict. This way, concerned parents, child advocates, and the legal system can find a more productive and compassionate way of handling such sensitive situations.

Understanding the Family Law Environment

Expecting judges to remember all the minute details of your life throughout a day’s busy calendar is unrealistic. Being human, they can be influenced by biases, experience boredom, or feel tired, making their decisions unpredictable. Attorneys, on the other hand, are not trained to fulfill the role of counselors or coaches. Consequently, when a client seeks answers anxiously, an attorney may become annoyed and frustrated with their own client, leading to suboptimal representation.

It is crucial to recognize the roles of these professionals and understand how they can assist you in your case. Familiarizing yourself with the available approaches is equally important. The following outlines the four primary methods to handle a family law case.

What Makes Our Model Different?

Let’s Compare 4 Approaches…

LITIGATIVE MODEL

ATTORNEY DRIVEN APPROACH

TIME:
Contested: 9 months – 3 years
High-conflict child custody: 5-6 years

MONEY:
Contested divorce: $30,000-$52,000
High-conflict child custody: $77,746 or higher

KEY FEATURES:

  • Designed as a battle against the opposing party
  • Increases animosity between parties
  • Encourages a win/lose mentality
  • Prone to escalate conflicts and potential violence
  • Contentious and emotionally draining
  • Has a profound negative impact on children

LITIGATION is a contested legal action where a judge or third party may make the final decisions for the parties involved if they don’t reach a settlement before trial. The process may include multiple hearings and temporary orders, ultimately leading to final orders on critical issues like custody, support, and asset division, often determined after a trial with witnesses. (ref. americanbar.org)

The litigative approach can quickly escalate even in initially amicable situations. It is designed as a battle against the opposing party and can exacerbate existing conflicts. In some cases, employing a strong and aggressive attorney may force compliance with orders, but harmonious outcomes are rare in litigation.

This adversarial approach increases animosity between parties, fosters a win/lose mindset, and is susceptible to violence. It is a contentious and emotionally exhausting process that profoundly affects children. It is often compared to hostage negotiations, as it tends to damage parent-parent, child, and extended family relationships. Additionally, it can harm both parents financially, lead to hospitalizations, incarcerations, and have severe consequences on individuals and communities, such as suicides, homicides, and community unrest.

COLLABORATIVE LAW

LEGAL TEAM APPROACH

TIME:
8-14 months

MONEY:
$25,000-$50,000

KEY FEATURES:

  • Typically the parties are amicable.
  • Willingness to collaborate for a peaceful resolution

  • Focus on fair and equitable division of assets and child timeshare

  • Utilizes a team-based approach

  • Faster resolution compared to litigation

  • High probability of harmonious outcomes

In COLLABORATIVE LAW, the legal team adopts a cooperative and team-oriented approach to resolve disputes. This method typically takes around 8 to 14 months and costs between $25,000 to $50,000.

Key features of collaborative law include the involvement of amicable parties who are willing to work together for a peaceful resolution. The focus is on ensuring a fair and equitable division of assets and child timeshare.

Collaborative law emphasizes a team-based approach, involving professionals such as lawyers, financial experts, and mental health specialists to provide comprehensive support. As a result, disputes are often resolved more quickly compared to traditional litigation.

One of the significant advantages of collaborative law is the high probability of achieving harmonious outcomes that benefit all parties involved. By fostering cooperation and open communication, collaborative law enables a more positive and constructive resolution of conflicts.

MEDIATION MODEL

CLIENT-CENTERED APPROACH

TIME:

Typically resolved in 4-5 months

MONEY:

Cost ranges between $6,000 to $7,000

KEY FEATURES:

  • Utilizes a team-based approach
  • Involves a skilled family mediator
  • Achieves quicker resolution with harmonious outcomes
  • Success rate close to 100% with most cases resolved in just a few sessions
  • Promotes communication, cooperation, and mutual agreement between parents

  • Benefits both parents and any children involved

In the MEDIATION model with a client-centered approach, conflicts are typically resolved within 4-5 months, and the associated cost ranges from $6,000 to $7,000.

This approach relies on a team-based strategy, with a skilled family mediator playing a pivotal role. The process leads to faster resolutions, ensuring outcomes that are conducive to harmony and cooperation.

Mediation has an impressive success rate, with close to 100% of cases being resolved within only a few sessions. Through mediation, parents learn valuable skills to communicate effectively, cooperate, and find mutually agreeable solutions.

The benefits of mediation extend to both parents and any children involved, fostering a positive environment for everyone affected by the dispute.

The process is private and involves a neutral third person known as the mediator, whose role is to facilitate discussions and assist the parties in resolving their dispute. During mediation, the parties have the opportunity to openly communicate about the issues, express their interests, feelings, and perspectives, and share relevant information. The mediator helps create an environment where the parties can explore potential solutions collaboratively.

It is essential to note that the mediator does not have the authority to impose decisions on the parties. Instead, their role is to guide the process and help the parties find a resolution that all involved can agree upon. The power to resolve the dispute solely lies with the parties themselves.

If the parties reach a mutually acceptable agreement through mediation, the mediator may assist in transforming the agreement into a written contract. This contract may be legally enforceable in court if needed, providing a basis for the resolution of the dispute.

Reference: (americanbar.org)

KIDS NEED BOTH MODEL

SELF-EMPOWERED APPROACH

TIME:

Resolved in 4 months for uncontested cases

MONEY:

  • Uncontested cases cost $500
  • Subscription to Hope4Families.net

  • Numerous free courses and mentorship groups available

  • Access to discounted services from our directory of professionals

KEY FEATURES:

  • Self-determined approach based on your chosen path

  • Guided by trusted mentors
  • Powered by self-education
  • Benefitting from a supportive network and community
  • Emphasizes a partnership-based approach
  • Grants the power to select the best solution

The KIDS NEED BOTH MODEL revolves around self-empowerment, encouraging individuals to take charge of their own futures. This approach is supported by self-education, a supportive network, and a community that believes in personal decision-making. Drawing parallels to the worlds of education and medicine, in the past, societal beliefs didn’t always trust individuals to make the best choices for their child’s education or their own health. However, in recent times, people have reclaimed their power by overseeing their child’s education and exploring alternative, homeopathic healing methods that reduce reliance on community systems.

While acknowledging the value of different models, the KIDS NEED BOTH MODEL emphasizes the freedom of choice that comes with self-empowerment. The foundation of this model rests on partnership with trusted mentors who have firsthand experience walking a similar path. Their commitment is to make the journey smoother and less painful for those they guide. The model offers an array of resources, including educational materials, mentor-led empowerment groups, personalized relationship coaching, and access to a directory of KNB-vetted professionals, providing individuals with the power to make informed choices.

Regarding the emotional impact, joining Hope4Families.net offers a suggested roadmap, assisting individuals in determining the best course of action for their situation. Coaches provide personalized guidance based on their expertise to navigate through challenging circumstances. The model emphasizes the importance of avoiding adversarial environments that can further damage already delicate relationships within families. KIDS NEED BOTH is devoted to achieving the best outcomes for the entire family, centered around fostering harmonious and empowering relationships, regardless of the circumstances.

Litigation Costs Breakdown

    • Initial Consultation ($250.00 – $500.00/hour)
    • Retainer ($2,500.00 – $5,000.00)
    • Filing Initial Pleadings (Summons and Initial Petition) ($1,200.00)
    • Responding to Answer and/or Counter Petition ($1,000.00)
    • Serving Discovery ($500.00)
    • Responding to Discovery ($750.00)
    • Preparing Financial Affidavit and Mandatory Disclosure Compliance ($1,800.00)
    • Preparing Motions ($750.00)
    • Preparing Motion for Attorneys’ Fees ($750.00)
    • Responding to Motions ($750.00)
    • Hiring Experts ($2,000.00)
    • Hearings/Court Appearances ($4,500.00)
    • Mediation (Court-Ordered) ($1,200.00)
    • Co-Parenting Classes and Preparation of Parenting Plan ($500.00)
    • Trial ($7,500.00 – $10,000.00)
    • Appeal ($5,000.00)

Approximate Total Cost of Litigation: $32,700.00+

Mediation Costs Breakdown

    • Initial 2-hour consultation ($250.00 – $500.00)
    • Follow up meeting (4 hours at $300.00/hour)($1,200.00)
    • Preparation of Mediated Settlement Agreement ($500.00)
    • Preparation of additional documents, such as Parenting Plan, Child Support Worksheet, and/or Dissolution filings (if necessary) ($500.00)

Approximate Total Cost of Mediation: $500.00 – $2,500.00

Who’s Involved in the Typical Divorce Environment?